Strong at the Heart
healing from sexual abuse
book for teens and adults
by Carolyn Lehman
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from the introduction


The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.
— Ernest Hemingway, Farewell to Arms

No one knows for sure how many survivors of childhood sexual abuse there are, because sexual abuse is one of North America's most underreported crimes. The most frequently cited estimates are that about one out of every three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused in some way before they turn eighteen. Half of all rape victims are children. No matter how you look at the statistics, there are a lot of survivors. In this book you will meet us, face–to–face.

If you have experienced sexual abuse or assault, this book is for you. You will find out how other teens and adults are healing from abuse and what might work for you, too.

If you have not been abused, this book may give you insight into the survivors in your own life. You will see the important roles that friends and family members have in these stories. You may get ideas about what you can do to make the world safer for kids.

Most teens and children who are sexually violated experience abuse in isolation. They cope the best they can. In these interviews, you'll see a variety of ways kids try to deal with sexual abuse and the often overwhelming emotions that come with it.

Before healing can start, the abuse had to stop. Some of the survivors in this book fought back or made other choices that ended the abuse. Sooner or later they broke out of isolation. They all told someone—a sister, a friend, a police officer, a counselor.

As you'll see in these interviews, what happens next is not a one–size–fits–all process. People are different. They are hurt in different ways and they heal differently, too.

Still, the resilient survivors in this book have these things in common:
  • They told—again and again if they had to—and got help.
  • They listened to their own feelings and decided what worked for them and what didn't.
  • Over time, they connected with other people—family members, therapists, other survivors, friends—and received emotional support and practical help.
  • They gave healing the time and attention it deserves.
  • They took action and made choices that made their lives better.
  • They never gave up on themselves.…
… Sexual abuse is heartbreaking. It can cut to the very core of who we are and who we will become. But you and those you know can heal. Like the survivors in this book, you can become strong at the heart.

Read the full introduction and the interviews in Strong at the Heart.


© 2005-2011, Carolyn Lehman, All Rights Reserved
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