Strong At The Heart

Today I’ve been working on my presentation for the Healthy Teen Network Conference in Anaheim on Thursday. But now that I’ve figured out how to get download photos onto this computer from my camera, I wanted to get up the pictures from the Instituto and CLA.

Then, as I was working, I got an e-mail from Liz Bohm, one of the organizers of the event at Instituto Familiar de la Raza in San Francisco’s Mission District. Her description is so evocative. I’ll quote from it in italics below:

These two marvelous women are the executive director of the Instituto, Dr. Estela Garcia, and the founder, Dr. Concha Saucedo. They opened the event with a greeting and with smudging and a Nhuatl prayer to create a sacred space for the proceedings.

“…a beautiful altar ran the length of one whole wall, still up from Dia de los Muertos, with candles, vases full of marigolds, painted skulls, pictures and mementoes of loved ones… As people entered the room they shared good local food, homemade cookies and hot tea… The atmosphere was safe, positive, hopeful, respectful and energetic, and it was created by the healing wisdom of the elders, the brave sharing of the survivors, and the dedication of the organizers, staff and volunteers.”

We really didn’t plan to wear the same outfits! These grinning people are the speakers: me, Arturo Carillo, and Rev Trinity Ordona.

“In sync with the title of the book by Carolyn Lehman, Strong at the Heart: How It Feels to Heal from Sexual Abuse, the emphasis was on how people have come through, have healed and are creating healing for themselves and their families, and are moving on. Carolyn, herself a survivor, talked about her experience of writing these stories of real people, whose personalities, talents and voices came through loud and clear. One interviewee, Arturo, was a guest at the event…

“Watching Arturo stand up and claim his experiences as ‘an important story that needed to be told,’ and then receive respectful, loving affirmation from a male peer made me not only hopeful, but grateful to see and feel the real change happening that will positively affect the root causes of violence…There is more awareness and less silence every day.

“The drumming at the end wove it all together…For me, it felt like we were creating a living rhythm with our hands and voices, where liberation and healing took on new form and vibrated through the room. Release of the old, welcoming the new, acknowledging the pain, joy, connection, our strong heartbeat togeher. Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom. After the event I felt happy, calm and connected and was deeply appreciating the openness and awareness of the people in this city, this community that make an event like this possible…

“I’ve been to other events focused on healing from sexual abuse, but never one where both men and women have come together. It felt so natural, balanced and rich because of this shared experience. It feels like the ‘blind spots’ Carolyn talked about that we have when it comes to rape and sexual violence are getting smaller, and as we come together with all of our eyes, our vision expands, our dialog grows, our voices can get stronger in the presence of each other.”

If I tried to identify everyone in this picture, I’d be sure to get someone’s name wrong. So I will just say that in addition to the people ID-ed above, the others in this photo include Dr. Sal Nunez (the tall guy in the back–he lead the healing drumming), Jennifer Biehn, Sarah Armstrong, Liz Bohm, Brian Lum, Joan Lohman, Paula, and Mario Marquez. Others are from Trinity’s class at City College of San Francisco; they volunteered in many ways including tabling and book sales. Auden Rodriguez, who handled the tech stuff for the night, had to leave before this photo was taken.

cla

And now that I’m on a roll with photos, here’s one of the poster session from the California Library Association conference this weekend. There were ten display tables set up in the Exhibition Hall on Sunday. I was so busy talking with visitors at my own that I never got to see the others.

That’s my friend Joan Berman from Humboldt State University, checking things out just before the poster session started. She helped me set up the display, brought me water (it’s nonstop talking once the session starts) and generally cheered me on as more and more people came to talk with me about the books I’d brought, Strong at the Heart, sexual abuse issues, and collection development. I met some wonderful librarians, authors, and educators and gave out a lot of packets of information on healing books for teens.

Finally, Internet access. Just because a hotel is pricey doesn’t mean the wireless connection is free–or reliable.

I’m at the California Library Association Conference in Sacramento, part of a mini book tour.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be attending the Beatty Award breakfast thanks to my friend Joan Berman who gave me her ticket this afternoon. The Beatty Award “honors the author of a distinguished book for children or young adults that best promotes an awareness of California and its people.” This year’s winner is The Ballooon Boy, by Dorothy Kupcha Leland, a novel based on a true story about a 14 year old boy on a runaway balloon.

Afterwards I’ll set up a poster session on Sexual Abuse in Young Adult Literature. I’m looking forward to talking with librarians about the books they select in this subject area. And I’ve prepared a lot of handouts: a fact sheet on sexual abuse, a bibliography of recommended fiction and nonfiction, a copy of my article on the subject from School Library Journal, and Questions to Ask–both in evaluating books on the subject and in collection development. Whew!

I have no idea who will show up–if anyone–or what their interests will be.

instituto

The event in San Francisco’s Mission District on Thursday night was an amazing experience. I’ll write about it again when I can post the pictures (after I get home) because tonight I am just too tired to do more than a quick post and go to bed.

For now, I just have to say that the people at the Instituto Familar de la Raza planned this event incredibly well. Every detail was taken care of from feeding people beforehand (a fantastic Mexican dinner) and creating a safe and sacred space for people to speak about abuse in their lives, to a magical ending of nearly a hundred people drumming and singing together. Unbelievable.

Today I am prepping for two events coming up, one at Instituto Familiar de la Raza in San Francisco’s Mission District and the other one in Sacramento–the California Library Association’s annual convention.

The event at the Instituto is really something special. It’s billed at a celebration of women and men healing from sexual abuse and the organizers have done a fantastic job.

The evening starts at 5 p.m. with a buffet dinner. At six, the program begins with Mezzo American drumming and smudging to create a sacred space and safety for the participants. I’ll show photographs, of course, and talk about healing within a cultural context as described in Strong at the Heart. I’ll also share what I learned by listening to other survivors and hearing how they defined healing.

a man’s story

Then–and this is what everyone is especially excited about–Arturo from the book will speak. He is a very respected person in the community and his story will be especially meaningful because it takes place right there, in the Mission. Arturo still works for Walden House and he is also well known musician and community leader.

When he is done, there will be a healing drumming circle. And after that a book signing.

It’s an RSVP event and the organizers say they are already over the 80 people they planned for but they are trying to make room for a few more. The phone number there is 415-229-0500.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

BTW, the event is sponsored by Healing for a Change, San Francisco City College (CCSF), Instituto Familiar de la Raza, CCSF Concert and Lecture Series, CCSF Office of Mentoring and Service Learning, Project Survive, and the Women’s Studies, Business, Health Education and Community Health Studies, and Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Studies departments at CCSF!

It’s good to know that all these great organizations are behind an event like this.

sacramento

And then, on Sunday, I’ll be at the California Library Association.

This is my first ever poster session. This year I’ve given workshops to a wide range of audiences and key note speeches at events from child abuse conferences to take Back the Night. Now, I have to figure out how to say these subtle and layered things with a poster and handouts!

The best part in my mind right now is that this is forcing me to put together a packet of information that librarians and other book people can take with them and absorb. We’ll see how it goes.

Saturday’s event in Westhaven went really, really well. There was a lovely audience, including friends from various parts of my life. It’s a real treat to do a book event in my own community!

Sam and Pearl Oliner, two sociologists who study and write about altruism came and contributed to the discussion. So did Paige Alisen, the founder of The Emma Center.

One woman asked me to post the statistics on child sexual abuse that I cited at the beginning of the conversation. I find these stats both clarifying AND suggestive.

Here they are in their long form and with citations:

–One in four women and one in six men acknowledge sexual abuse in childhood in a retrospective study of 17,000 middle class adults in the Kaiser Health Care System. (The ACE Study, Dr. Vincent Fellitti, U. S. Department of Public Health)

–Two thirds of victims of reported rape are under eighteen. More than half of these are under twelve. (Snyder, Howard, National Center for Juvenile Justice. 2000. Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement. U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justices Statistics.)

–Almost 2 million teenagers in the U. S. have been victims of serious sexual assaults. (Kilpatrick and Saunders, 1997:
The Prevalence and Consequences of Child Victimization, U. S. Department of Justice)

–One third of the people who sexually abuse children are family members. More than half are acquaintances including trusted adults and other children. Only 7% are strangers. (U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justices Statistics, 2000)

–Adults are the offenders in 60% of sexual assaults of children under age 12. (U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justices Statistics, 2000)

the facts speak for themselves

Two things really stand out for me. The first is that–as a culture–we have defined rape as an experience of adult women. But look who is experiencing the majority of rapes.

And that last statistic. If 60% of offenders are adults, that means …

Public discourse on sexual abuse and rape is still in the Dark Ages in many ways. We have a long ways to go before our understanding of childhood sexual abuse catches up with the reality that kids experience every day.

Bloggers who are fans of children’s YA literature have started a new award, the Cybil. Check it out and nominate your favorite book from the past year.

I am honored to serve on the Middle Grade/YA Non-fiction award committee. And, no, Strong at the Heart is not eligible.

Westhaven

Closer to home, I’m speaking at the Westhaven Center for the Arts, in Westhaven, California, this Saturday from 3-4:30 p.m. The event is co-sponsored by the Emma Center, a local nonprofit that supports women who are healing from the mental and physical effects of childhood trauma.

I’ll be showing photos from the book and other behind-the-scene shots. What I’m hoping is that we’ll have a discussion of what we can do in our community to better support survivors and to help prevent abuse.

The event will be at 501 S Westhaven Drive in Westhaven. To find out more, see the article in today’s Times Standard.

If you’re local, do come!

If you work with young kids or are a parent here’s a book you might want to know about. Healing Stories, by Jacqueline Golding, describes and recommends picture books that deal with “the big and small changes in a child’s life.”

Of course, when I saw it, I immediately turned to the section–at the end–on abuse. The author covers picture books on prevention as well as physical and sexual abuse and violence within the home.

Several excellent books are on the list–ones I’ve read and reviewed in the past. There were also titles new to me.

teen moms

I found out about this book and others at the Northern California Independent Book Sellers Association (NCIBA) annual expo in Oakland, CA. I drove down and spent Friday and most of Saturday at workshops and on the expo floor where Strong at the Heart was displayed with other books by members of the SCBWI (Society of Chilren’s Book Writers and Illustrators). Jacqueline Golding was there, too, with her book.

A suprise pleasure of the expo was getting to know Jacqueline and YA author Deborah Davis. Deborah has several fiction titles out including Not Like You (Clarion) and My Brother Has AIDS (Atheneum).

Her newest book is You Look Too Young To Be A Mom (Penguin). It’s a compelling collection of writing by teen moms who examine their experiences with motherhood. I’m just getting started reading it, but wanted to pass the word along now. I think she’s done a stellar job of giving voice to young women who are finding their way in the world.

The other day a woman I know handed me her copy of Strong at the Heart. I thought she was going to ask me to sign it, but instead she said, “I’ve read your book, and I’m glad I have, but I was hoping you’d know how to pass this on so it will reach young people.”

Yes, I know plenty of libraries that are short on funds and looking for quality book donations.

Her copy sits on my desk while I take off for summer camp (see below) but she got me to thinking.

When I was a kid there were no books on abuse in my library—let alone books on healing from it. I wrote Strong at the Heart for teens so that young people could find these true stories in school and public libraries. (I’m also very gratified that adults are reading it, too, and finding it relevant.)

apple seeds

More than 5000 new books for young readers are published each year and far more for adults. How do librarians on limited budgets decide which books to buy? Reviews are important, so is word of mouth. Patron requests and recommendations are also taken very seriously, after all the library is there to serve the reader.

If you are a survivor or have read up on the subject, you probably know several books that are especially good. There may be others you want to read but can’t afford

What would happen if we went to our public and school libraries and asked for the books we want to read by name? Would they be available? Will your the library order the ones you recommend? What if we donated copies to shelters, juvenile facilities, school or public libraries?

Every time a books is added to a library, hundreds of people gain access to it who wouldn’t have otherwise.

With this book donation to make, I’m feeling a little like that guy with the kettle on his head. Who knows what hands will open my friend’s book next? Whose life it might change?

summer camp

As I write this I’m on a plane flying east. I’ll end up in Burlington, Vermont, at the 20th and last Children’s Literature New England conference. It’s put on by my professors from grad school. This year’s topic is The Hero Revisited.

For this conference there’s a reading list of 40 books–all with wonderful heroes.

I’ve especially enjoyed Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer, about an apprentice bard from England at the time of the Norse invasions. And I just read the last pages of Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo, about two brothers during WWI, as heart wrenching a book on a soldier’s experience as you’ll find anywhere.

And for a superb and disturbing survivor story there is, Meg Rosoff’s How I Live Now, which takes place the day after tomorrow when war breaks out in England.

I just learned that Strong at the Heart has been listed in the 2006 “Notable Social Studies Trade Books for Young People.” This is a publication of the National Council for the Social Studies and goes to social studies teachers all over the US.

On their website, the list is described like this: “The selection committee looks for books that emphasize human relations, represent a diversity of groups and are sensitive to a broad range of cultural experiences, present an original theme or a fresh slant on a traditional topic, are easily readable and of high literary quality, and have a pleasing format and, when appropriate, illustrations that enrich the text.”

Lists from former years are downloadable, but 2006 is available to members only right now.

It’s a wonderful honor and will help Strong reach young readers. Thank you to the selection committe and the Children’s Book Council!

this saturday

On Saturday, June 17th, I’ll be the featured speaker the Humboldt County Library Authors in the Afternoon series. The event will be held at 2 pm in the at the Main Library in Eureka, California. I’ll show photos from the making of the book, tell how and why it all came to be, and share the backstories of some of the people in the book. If you are in the area, I hope you come by and say, “Howdy.”