Strong At The Heart

I’m still grinning from a lovely three day retreat that my sister and I took last week. She lives in another state, so we met in the Portland airport and drove together to Breitenbush Hot Springs. We hiked in the luscious hills, relaxed in the hot springs, got massages, did yoga, ate quantities of food that other people prepared for us, and had plenty of time to talk and read and enjoy each others’ company.

My sister is an amazing and accomplished woman. Her professional work benefits farm workers and their children, she is also a musician, and she raised two of my favorite people in the world–my nieces.

Near the end of our restorative time together it hit me: this moment–this happiness and peace and richness in our lives–was unimaginable when we were children in a dysfunctional and destructive nuclear family. We really have come a long, long way. I wished I could reach back in time and tell those two little girls, “Some day this will be yours!”

our hero

Recently I’ve been in contact with a second cousin of ours. She told me a family story I had never heard before.

In the 1930’s our great aunt found out that her daughter had been molested by a relative. Despite her own disability, poverty, and the attitudes of the era, she hired a lawyer, pursued the case, and sent the offender to jail.

We’d never even know this about her! My sis and I took one evening of our vacation to celebrate and commemorate this great aunt, who we have always remembered fondly as a loving and kind presence when we were young.  What a hero for us both!

Here’s a young adult book to look for. SAFE, by Susan Shaw, won’t be out until October, but I’m reading it now in publisher’s galleys for a book review.

There is no mystery about what happened. Walking home on the last day of 7th grade, Tracy is abducted by an older teen, raped, and left for dead. We know it happened, so does she. The story takes place over that awful summer, the aftermath, while she struggles to find enough security in her life so that she can begin to deal with the reality of the assault.

At last, a novel that really focuses on healing. What I like about this book is that Tracy is no pitiful victim. Even as she goes through a period of agraphobia and isolation, she is finding ways to help herself, figuring out how to live after overwhelming trauma and loss.

She has a lot to draw on, a kind father, the memory of a loving mother, good friends who wait in the wings for her “return.” But in the depths of her post trauma reaction she also discovers strength within herself. She draws on the power of music and her own creativity long before she is ready for talk therapy and all that comes with it.
The violence is all off stage. Tracy’s feelings are front and center. Her growth is realistic and hopeful. This is a good book.