Strong At The Heart

You might be a first time visitor to this site, or an old friend coming back to see what’s happening with Strong at the Heart, or someone who needs information now.

It’s been a year and a month and a week since this website went up and I started this book blog.

Blogging—as many have observed—is both an intimate and an annonymous experience. Well, I’ve chosen to not be annonymous. But who are the other participants?

Who comes to this website? Besides you, who reads this blog?

feedback

Of course, I hear from many of you via email and posted comments. So I know my sister visited the site when a friend asked her for a good book on sexual abuse for very young children—the day after I put up the review of Mia’s Secret.

Several adult men have written about the effect of reading the book or seeing the photos. As one put it, “This is the first time I have looked into the face of another man who was sexually abused.”

Researchers and librarians write to say they find the booklist helpful. Teens trying to get out of abusive situations, survivor activists, therapists, concerned parents, children’s book folks–you are a varied group of correspondents. I enjoy hearing from all of you.

what you want

My stats program lets me see what terms visitors have typed into the search engines that bring them to these pages (but not who the visitors are, of course).

stories of strong teens
child abuse true stories
how do you heal from sexual abuse
recovery from molestation
Marisca Hagrity (our pages are linked—she recommends Strong at the Heart!)

The above are some of the most frequent search terms. Then there are the heartbreakers:

how to get help for teen offenders
help for sibling abuse
how to stop incest
can kids heal from molestation

These are the courageous kids and adults who are looking for resources and referrals. It’s a privilege to be a stop on their journeys.

Then, of course, there are a few lost souls looking for sex sites. But I figure that anyone who makes it here may encounter information they didn’t know they needed to find.

where you go

After this blog and the home page, the most popular pages are books and films and favorite websites. But a constant stream of visitors explore all the pages. The help pages are popular as is the order page (thank you!) and the bio page (go figure!)

where you come from

Links, of course, bring me a lot of readers from sites like Wikipedia where Tony Sandal started an excellent—although constantly changing—book list. Rape Crisis centers link to these pages, as do book blogs and interviews like Cynthia Smith’s excellent pages on children’s authors. Awards lists also bring me readers. And I’m always happy to see new blog links and feeds.

Search engines postfixes include uk, ca, de, ie, ro, in, no, pl, th, se, il, fr, tr, es—and on and on. Some hits come through translation services. The readership is truly world wide.

namaste

When I started blogging I thought I would simply record the first year in the life of the book. But plans have a way of changing.

I didn’t even notice the first year anniversary (October 27th) I was so busy preparing to speak at Healthy Teen Network, California Library Association, and the Instituto Familiar de la Raza in early November.

Interest in Strong at the Heart is—well—as strong as ever. The readership on the site continues to grow. The book is selling well and reaching new audiences. I learn so much from the people who write to me.

So I’m keeping on.

Thanks to you for reading. And thank you to all who write in. I am grateful for every person who makes it to this site.

Bloggers who are fans of children’s YA literature have started a new award, the Cybil. Check it out and nominate your favorite book from the past year.

I am honored to serve on the Middle Grade/YA Non-fiction award committee. And, no, Strong at the Heart is not eligible.

Westhaven

Closer to home, I’m speaking at the Westhaven Center for the Arts, in Westhaven, California, this Saturday from 3-4:30 p.m. The event is co-sponsored by the Emma Center, a local nonprofit that supports women who are healing from the mental and physical effects of childhood trauma.

I’ll be showing photos from the book and other behind-the-scene shots. What I’m hoping is that we’ll have a discussion of what we can do in our community to better support survivors and to help prevent abuse.

The event will be at 501 S Westhaven Drive in Westhaven. To find out more, see the article in today’s Times Standard.

If you’re local, do come!

Here’s one more way that survivors are finding to speak out about sexual assault and healing. Voices of Strength is an audio project by Haullie Free.

At her site, I was only able to access the audio trailer of the project, so I can’t comment on the individual stories she has collected. Listening to the trailer, hearing the voices of other survivors–of men and women and people with a wide range of accents and experiences–was very moving. The site has many goodies and, though Haullie is selling a variety of products, she is donating partial proceeds to RAINN.

online hotline

RAINN, btw, has started an online hotline. They already provide 24 hour phone referral for anyone dealing with rape and sexual assault issues. That number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

The online hotline can connect you “instant message” style with a live counselor. They say it is secure and completely confidential. Right now the online hotline is only active from 4-6 p.m. Eastern time (so if you are in the Western U. S. think 1-3 p.m). This is a pilot program for what they hope will become a 24 hour crisis counseling and referral service for people who prefer online communication.

Arrrgh! Blog spam got me!

A week ago, this site started getting nonsense posts from addresses at blader.com. Then the spam became these flattering little missives. “Great site. Wish mine was a good.” More blader.com addresses so I knew they weren’t for real. Now they are coming from yahoo and other addresses and advertising everything from investment to porn.

This is why the comments at this site are moderated, so you don’t have to wade through this kind of junk. But for now I’m turning off the “comments” capability until the spammers get tired of sending me their rubbish. If you want to communicate with me–or add a comment to the blog–email me from the contact page. If you indicate that you want to post, I’ll put your remarks on the blog.

Once it looks like the coast is clear, I’ll turn the comment capability back on. It’s all a learning experience.

Today is such a beautiful day on the Northcoast, our second day of sunshine and temperatures above 70 degrees–after weeks of endless fog. That’s right, while everyone else has been sweltering, we’ve been wearing sweaters here.

Right outside my window a man on a ladder is swinging a paintbrush. For the last six weeks I’ve been writing with hammering and belt sanding going on outside my window while our old Victorian gets repaired and prepped for painting. At least the paint is going on more quietly, but I still have interruptions a dozen times a day. Quarter round or cove molding on the trim? Rebuild or repair the cellar door? Then I’m back at the computer, trying to find the place where I left off writing.

Right now I am working on an article about the depiction of survivors of sexual abuse in young adult literature, so if you have books or ideas or responses you want to share, please let me know either by posting your comment here or emailing me.

two sites

Best Interests is a website for child advocates that has international news, articles, links, and recommended books. They’ve featured Strong at the Heart on their book pages. Thank you, Marcia.

There’s an interesting survivor site with blog and short video segments put up by Tim Fisher. Tim was raped by a priest as a child and now speaks out in support of SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) in the Midwest.

Check this out: Cynthia Smith just posted an interview with me on her weblog Cynsations.

Cynthia is a wonderful interviewer. She asked the kind of questions that brought out stories about the book, the writing of it, and the responses of individual readers. It’s the best interview on the book yet.

If you are at all into books for young readers, her blog and website are well worth bookmarking. Cynthia puts up two or three author interviews each month and posts news and opinions about books for kids and young adults. Her website is full of goodies including an archive of her author interviews. I hope mine will be there soon, too.

She’s also a wonderful author herself and has written several books that circulate from my bookshelves and are listed in my bibliographies of recommended books.

kentucky bluegrass

To my absolute delight, Strong at the Heart has been listed for the 2007 Kentucky Bluegrass Award, Master List for grades 9-12. High school students throughout Kentucky will have the chance to read from this list of fifteen books and then vote for their favorite. Right now I have a very warm spot in my heart for Kentucky!

I just got back from the most amazing three days! A friend and I went to Potter Valley, near Ukiah, California, for a workshop put on by the Center for Digital Storytelling.

We learned how to put together a 3-5 minute Quicktime movie using stills, video, voiceover and music. It’s going to take me a few weeks to get it all together, but I hope to post my story here.

My friend (also named Carolyn) told the story of her search for her grandmother, who died of breast cancer in the early sixties. She compared what she knew of her grandmother’s experience with her own early detection and cure.

The story I chose to tell was about how I coped with abuse as a child, how internalized stereotypes of sexual victims stood in the way of my healing, and how connecting with other survivors brought me through that to a deeper understanding of myself.

There is something so powerful about telling your story, putting words, images and music to it. Like Kelly in Strong at the Heart, I experienced that transition where you get a new perspective on your experience through the work of film making. (Her film, of course, was much longer and more professional. She received an Emmy for it.)

Other stories told in the workshop included a young woman’s search for her purpose in life, a love letter to a new bride, a poem that evoked the pain of homophobia in the African American community, and a lively story of four adult siblings who traveled around the country on Amtrak and got to know each other in a deeper and sweeter way.

Amy Hill is using digital storytelling for a very moving project with sexual abuse survivors called Silence Speaks. You can see other people’s digital stories at her site.

wikipedia revisited

Tony Sandal’s entry on literature dealing with pedophilia and sexual abuse is currently in a very good version, so I’m posting the link again. Just know that Wikipedia entries change and change, so there’s no guarantees. If you are looking for novels and nonfiction on these subjects it is currently a rich place to go.

Today is the launch of the first “blog carnival” I’ve participated in. You might want to check it out. Marj of Survivors Can Thrive pulled it together.

A blog carnival is a linking of blog pages on a related theme. In this case, child sexual abuse. You can find it at the carnival site index where you’ll find it under “Carnival Against Child Sexual Abuse. Or go directly to Marj’s site.

For the Carnival, she’s pulled together descriptions of about twenty five blogs and then provided links to particularly interesting posts. Catagories include Survivor’s Stories, Poetry, In The News, Healing and Therapy, Aftermath, and Advocacy and Awareness.

This blog is listed under Aftermath and the link goes to the discussion of the Black Oak Books event and what came afterwards, the discussion between a mother and a therapist that took place on this blog.

I’m still checking out the various sites. There’s some very good material here, including Dr. Deborah Serani’s excellent page of facts and tips for parents.

Marj will be doing a second edition in July, so if you have a blog yourself or know of one you want to nominate, be sure to contact her. Below the carnival entry (link above) you’ll find directions.

funny girl

A blog I want to nominate is the very funny–and very adult–Ethel’s Law by a survivor whose humor is biting, true, and occasionally over the top. This weekend Ethel’s entry is “Which Day Exactly ISN’T Father’s Day.” BTW, this is no fifth grader writing, no matter what she claims.

Marisca Hargitay, the actress who plays Detective Olivia Benson on NBC’s Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, has a sexual abuse/assault survivors support foundation The Joyful Heart. The youth friendly website is rich with information. If you look under “teens” there are several self-help, other-help, and stay-safe pages. And they have a program for survivors to go to Hawaii and swim with dolphins!

Strong at the Heart is listed and linked on their home page with a very nice write up. Thank you!

The Joyful Heart site is graphically beautiful, with the sound of water in the background, but it takes a while to load.

wikipedia revisted

Whoa! I just got an education in Wikipedialand. My son Ben and I were Skyping (he lives nine time zones away) when he went to Tony’s Wikipedia article and found that in the last few days it’s been hijacked.

Here’s what I learned about Wikipedia. Anyone can post an article. And anyone who wants can edit that article in any way. I guess this works as an exchange of ideas if a group of historians are contributing information on their speciality. Or if micro biologists are comparing research. But when something political comes up it can become a battlefield of opposing ideas.

What is happening to the article and book list is that some pedophile apologists jumped on it and edited it to a totally different end. That started a posting frenzy. Tony’s been posting back. The article changes several times a day. But I can’t really recommend it anymore. I’ve taken down the link on the my blog post below, and added a cautionary note there, too.

If Tony sends me a link to his original article, which was excellent, I’ll post it here for you.

So if you are curious, go to the Wickipedia site, but bear in mind what’s going on. You can look at the history of the article to see how it is all unfolding. Do understand that it is no longer “survivor safe.” Some of the “consensual” adult/child sex stuff is creepy from the viewpoint of someone who knows what the long term damage can look like.

Last night I heard from a writer in the UK who just put up a Wikipedia entry referencing Strong at the Heart and linking to this site. Thank you, Tony!

His Wikipidia entry is an excellent descriptive overview of literature–mostly in English–that deals in one way or another with the sexual abuse of boys. Links take you to fuller descriptions and bibliographic information. [Be aware, this article has changed many times and may not represent Tony's work anymore. 6/10/06]

The entry also has an extensive literature list with a broader scope, including the sexual abuse of girls, as well as films and nonfiction. There are excellent books on the list. Many were published for teens; no distinction is made between them and books written for adults. [Pro-pedophilia people have altered this article considerably. If you go to it, you may want to look under "history" and go to Tony Sandel's versions. 6/10/06]

On a personal note, I’ve been holed up some, taking care of family matters (the house desperately needs new gutters and painting). I’ll be speaking at the Authors in the Afternoon series on June 17th at the main library in Eureka, California. There I’ll show some of the photos from the making of Strong at the Heart and talk about the back story of the book. I’m looking forward to this informal book discussion event with Humboldt County readers.