Strong At The Heart

Yesterday I flew in–and out–of Redding, California to give the keynote address at a Take Back the Day/Take Back the Night event. It was a day of contrasts that began when I flew from the fog bound coast (highs in the 50′s) to Redding where the high was 91 degrees and sunny. My sun starved skin soaked up the vitamin D along the American River which was roaring.

The event was held at the absolutely gorgeous Redding City Hall. Outside there were balloons and booths, toys for kids, food, music, dancing and a holiday spirit. Yet the event purpose of the event was to address violent crime and abuse in the greater Redding community.

There was quite a turnout and a lot of information at the booths. It was good to see all the resources there, and the networking that was being done. At the Women’s Refuge booth I picked up this button:

Rebecca Tumlinson had told me that they were observing Jeans for Justice Day, so I had on my presenter suit from the waist up and instead of dressy pants, wore my somewhat holey jeans and clogs. This button was the perfect accessory.

jeans for justice

Anti-rape groups hold Jeans for Justice Day (usually April 27) where people wear denim to show solidarity for rape victim/survivors world wide. It began in 1999 when the Italian High Court overturned a rape conviction because the victim was wearing jeans at the time of the attack.

The ruling contained these words, “It is common knowledge … that jeans cannot even be partly removed without the effective help of the person wearing them … and it is impossible if the victim is struggling with all her might.”

In outrage, Europeans took to the streets wearing jeans (and carrying signs) to express their solidarity with the rape survivor in the case. I wondered if those who planned this event worldwide realize that–at least here in the U. S.–two thirds of the vicitms of reported rapes are under 18 years old and half of those under twelve. We’ve framed rape as a crime against women, but it is predominantly a crime against kids.

It was a hot day in Redding, but a lot of people wore jeans.

evening event

Leila Nankervis of Barnes and Noble had set up an extensive display on Strong at the Heart and there was a moving ceremony, dedicating a quiet part of the grounds as a Survivor’s Garden to commemorate victims of violence.

Then we went into the city council chambers for a short program. Preceding me were four victim witnesses who talked about the impact of crime on their families. I was to talk for a lot longer on healing. But you know how it goes. One woman spoke so eloquently about the pain of losing her oldest daughter to a drunk driver, her younger daughter read a school paper she’d written about her sister’s death, another woman told her story about how difficult it was to extricate herself from a violent relationship, and a fourth described how she had tried to protect herself from rape, but coudn’t, and how that had led her to work as a survivor advocate.

There was so much grief in the room. Standing up to the podium to speak on healing, I thought how puny any words I could say were compared to a mother’s grief. I spoke, though, and showed pictures, focusing on the ways that Jonathan and Sheena had moved through the devastating time after being abused and how they reclaimed their lives. Jenner’s story I told, in part, because it so clearly shows how events like Take Back the Night can help survivors heal. I framed the remarks in terms of the role of community in healing because I saw that happening right in front of me, through this event, through the cooperation of so many people, and through the Survivor’s Garden.

A candlelight march followed.

Thanks to Angela Fitzgerald, Rebecca Tumlinson, and Jennifer Hardy of Shasta County Victim Witness for bringing me out and to Victim Witness, the Women’s Refuge, and the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council for putting on such a moving event.